Share the Streets

You share the streets
with my car, full of receipts
and a friend of a friend’s cleats
buckled in to the back seat

I share nothing
with you
or any flawless thing

I power nap and survive
on cell-phone levels of electricity
Wake up late and trace habits
somehow to my ethnicity

I give in to the week by week
mood of the months
curse at cold fronts
and wonder if a couple back-up suns
might be useful
tomorrow when people exaggerate
yesterday’s exaggerations
and unknowingly placebo
the world into infinitely cold

a woman told me today
that as you get old
you tolerate it less and less
and you even eventually stop having to guess
at peoples’ intentions

you just know that all they want
all the time
is for you to Suffer as much as they do

she acted like she was right
so I believe her.

I expect
that when I get
the perfect amount of old
I will finally realize I’ve been
Suffering my whole life:
-small, unnoticed Sufferings
subliminal and below the skin
under the radar and laced with
molecular itches
never diagnosable

I will realize I’ve been
Suffering my whole life:
at the hands of cynical remarks
and cleverly placed laughter
being framed daily with untried idiocies
and missing out on
parties where third-party humor
isn’t invited

realize I’ve been
Suffering my whole life:
because successful people
don’t agree with me
and losers do,
because books are more
interesting than my real life,
because lovers never believe I love them,
because my parents told me
things that aren’t real are real
and then admitted they aren’t real,
because nobody’s proven
I can live forever,
because I worked hard for my grades
and nobody cares about my grades,
because everybody encourages my dreams
but nobody will pay for them,
because I have to pay for everything.

why should I not, having been informed, realize it now
rather than prolong that dreadful beginning
of bitterness?

I think I will
Yes, I will go right ahead and realize it

so I don’t have to prolong
that dreadful process
of forgiving everybody

and learning to share the streets with them


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